"All words are symbols that represent unspeakable realities. Which is also why words are magical." (Donald Miller tweet)

Monday, June 23, 2014

go ahead, mock

Cue the mockery. 

I'm about halfway through this wretched statistics class. I'm entirely certain it could be much, MUCH worse, with a different prof. And I'm reasonably certain I have an adequate brain. 

That being said, I truly find this class DIFFICULT. 

And THAT being said, I'm acknowledging that so far, I'm getting fantastic grades. 

Thus the mockery. "Pfft, Patti, you poser, if it's so hard, why the great marks?"

I don't know. That's the thing - I just don't know. I'm not complaining. Just not comprehending. 

But apparently I'm comprehending enough for the prof's standards. As I said to my mom, who mocked my claims of "utter despair" - "Maybe utter despair was the standard...?"

So I'm relieved. (And bewildered.)

And THAT being said, in tonight's lecture, I felt my brain achingly, painfully, slowly, reluctantly acknowledging some kind of foggy understanding of what was being said. 

And it occurred to me on the side, that perhaps this is how it feels to be slowly brainwashed.