"All words are symbols that represent unspeakable realities. Which is also why words are magical." (Donald Miller tweet)

Monday, October 13, 2008

Thanksgiving upset

Yes, Rick, it's Canadian Thanksgiving weekend. (Otherwise known as your daughter's wedding weekend - nice pics, btw!)

Our Thanksgiving tradition includes Monopoly. It all started with me and Dad. I was taught at a young age to be ruthless in Monopoly, and now we are passing it on to the next generation. We play by the rules. No "free parking" money in our home. No compassion. We are not gracious winners. Greed rules all.

Except this time.

J-Blue and the Beaner joined in. Punk was there too, but he's played before, and he understands that there is no room for love or grace. He laughs a lot, but only to disguise the cold capitalist philosophies developing within.

Meanwhile, J-Blue refused to get in the spirit of it. She's far too nice. Couldn't have cared less about collecting rent -and at one point, she sold a property for a kiss from her Dad.

The Beaner lucked out, landing on both Park Place and Boardwalk right near the start, thus gaining the upper hand completely by a fluke. He was more pleased, however, with the number of bills in his hand. Note - it was the number that pleased him, not their value. He would rather have twenty 1-dollar bills, then a single 500-dollar bill, and he focused all of his efforts on gathering all the 1-dollar bills he could.

Drove us crazy. We decided to wait them out, knowing they couldn't possibly survive long, and once they were out, we could move on with the REAL game of Monopoly.

Dad was out first, in a surprising turn of events. Did his best to buy up properties, but never really got the opportunity, and ran out of cash.

Punk and I partnered up, which kept him in the game a little longer, but then he landed on Boardwalk, and he was out too.

It was down to the four of us - me, J-Blue, the Beaner, and their Dad, my B-I-L. The game stretched out longer and longer, with J-Blue giving things away left, right and centre, and the Beaner starting to fall asleep, only waking up long enough to call out "RENT!" at random moments.

They won.

We don't know how. It falls entirely outside the natural order of Monopoly, and I, for one, find the whole thing deeply disturbing. It's like some weird shift in the earth's gravitational pull took place, changing the very essence of the game. What's next? No turkey at Thanksgiving dinner? Or will our family start drinking - gasp - decaf?

No one knows. But I tell you this - Monopoly will never be the same.