It's a Banana Guard. Because bananas are weak and defenseless fruits that bruise easily, and so they need a hard plastic guard to protect them from the ravages of any other foods that might be in your lunch bag.
Spike doesn't eat bananas.
Not ever.
Except once, when he ate some banana by mistake. It was in my banana split sundae, and I truly believed it was an ice-cream covered strawberry when I gave it to him. I was wrong. And he went running for a sink to spit into, yelling "BANANABANANABANANA" in horror.
It was exceptionally, hilariously, tears-running-down-your-face funny, from my viewpoint.
So, except for that one time, Spike doesn't eat bananas. He doesn't like the texture. It doesn't matter that people who love him tell him they are good for him. He doesn't care. He stares back, immovable, and states flatly, "I don't eat bananas."
And so, the Banana Guard was tossed across our living room to me on Christmas morning.
I of course, being a person who consumes bananas daily, was OK with it. There will never be a shortage of potassium in my bloodwork. I am potassium-ed to the limit, due to my banana-a-day policy.
Others have a policy of an apple-a-day. I'm not so much a fan of apples, unless they're in apple pie or apple crisp or apple sauce. Sometimes I eat apples, because I should. But I don't enjoy them nearly as much as bananas. Or grapes! Mmmm....grapes.
Sadly, I am no longer in possession of the Banana Guard. I phoned my sister to tell her about it, and she marveled at the technological wonder of an invention that would guard her banana so zealously. I had forgotten that while I will eat a banana in almost any old condition, she minutely examines bananas for any sign of bruising. If she finds the tiniest little bruise - even a suspicious-looking shadow - she won't eat it. She doesn't bring bananas in her lunchbag, specifically because they get beaten up by the mean-spirited ham sandwiches.
So...in the spirit of Christmas generosity...I re-gifted my Banana Guard to her. It was a real pain to wrap, I'll tell you that.
But the smile on her face made it all worthwhile.
