I'm trying out a new hairspray.
They didn't have my regular (read: cheap) kind, so I had to find another. I found one that was not only a decent price, but also "flexible hold". This is important to me.
In the 80's, I needed spray-on concrete, for the ever-enlarging, gravity-defying, teased-to-distraction hairstyles. But in today's chic world, we scoff at such silliness. Today, we cheer for natural looks - you know, absolutely "naturally" straight, with the slightest of perfectly-placed "natural" flips, and of course, in a variety of "natural" colours. (Plus my hairdresser and I engage in high-level negotiations regarding the length of hair at the front. She wants me to look gorgeous. I want to see out of both eyes.)
But I digress. No more spray-on concrete for me. It's all "natural," baby, and that means - "flexible hold" hairspray. Which oddly, is not that easy to find.
So I found a new one. It's SO flexible, the label said, that it sprays on with a dry mist, leaving you with none of the stickiness or stiffness that characterizes other hairsprays. Just perfect, natural, flexible hold - no side effects.
I've been using it for a couple of weeks now. But here's the thing. Imagine it with me. Your hair is perfect, the best it is going to be all day. You stand in front of the mirror, and carefully reach for the hairspray, without allowing a single strand to move from its place. You hold up the bottle, and spray. But it goes on dry. Not a hint of moisture. And it's flexible. Not a hint of stiffness. In fact, the only evidence that you've sprayed anything at all, is the smell wafting up your nose (competing with the smell of your shampoo, deoderant, perfume and mouthwash - we're smell-a-holics, you know).
Are you with me? And here's the question: How do you know it's there? What if the makers of this product have SO THOROUGHLY SCAMMED me, that I'm actually spraying scented air around my head, and it's doing FAT NOTHING, and I'm PAYING for it???
What if ... *gasp* ... the emperor has no clothes??!!!