cat texting

Spike and I went away for a few days over Christmas. It wasn't until last week that we realized that our one remaining friend who has not been deeply traumatized by our cat would also be away. So Millhouse would starve in an empty house while we feasted with friends far away.

We considered that option. It seemed wrong. We called my Dad. He agreed to stop in once a day, feed the cat, and be a human presence in the house for a few minutes before leaving Millhouse alone with his evil thoughts again.

Yesterday, as we drove home, the following exchange took place between me and my Dad, via texting.

Dad: "turd onfloor mil trying to ambush me"

Me: "AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!"

Silence for awhile. Then we stopped for lunch at a fast food joint on the side of the highway, and while Spike was waiting in line for astoundingly tasteless burgers, I checked in with Dad again.

Me: "So is mill dead now?"

Dad: "Mil is good. we r friends he sniffs me but i am not 2 touch him EVER"

Me: "Lol sounds like a solid agreement"

Dad: "I have agreed 2 give him a nice funeral"

I haven't heard that there was a firm date given for that funeral, but we arrived home to a cat that was still in the land of the living, so I presume that the date is TBA.

Happy New Year from Spike, me and the ever-malevolent Mill.