Have I ever mentioned what an awesome wife I am? Because I am. And so we gamed.
We played this. Not a zombie or vampire in sight. No speeding cars. No need to select from a plethora of guns. Therefore ... it should be an enjoyable game, by my reckoning.
Which brings my reckoning into question.
First - no plot. I kept waiting for the story to start, thinking we were going through tutorials. We were not. This was the game. And I was already failing.
Second - I stink. Not literally. In person, I almost always have a faint whiff of Strawberries and Champagne about me. But I could not maneouver the robot that was me. Left thumb to move it, right thumb to aim vision. Which means I can be moving left while looking right. This explains why I kept walking into walls when I thought I was obviously proceeding through an open doorway into the next room.
Third - the computerized voice that is the Master of the Game is rude. "I don't see how I can make this any easier," it says calmly after I fail yet again. ExCUSE me?!!?? Snide remarks about my odds of winning if only this were an eating contest really ticked me off. I wouldn't put up with this nonsense from a human. Why on earth am I letting a machine talk to me like this? This is not fun.
I actually had to get up at one point and take a coffee break. If one is getting irritated while having a fun afternoon with one's dearly-beloved, something is wrong. Dearly-beloved came upstairs and offered to do anything else. He explained that the computer has a virus and is acting weird - THAT'S the point of the game. So I need to stop taking offense, and stop waiting for a storyline. I did, however, need to learn the difference between turning and sidling.
So I tried. I got better. (Which is not at all to say that I became competent.) And I got less irritated. Coffee helped.
It usually does.