"All words are symbols that represent unspeakable realities. Which is also why words are magical." (Donald Miller tweet)

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

problematic pompoms


OK, my bloggy buddies. I have a question for you. Actually I'm posing it in two forms - a poll, over there to the left, where you can vote. And this post, in which you can comment with your own thoughts.

And the fact that my entertaining and informative blog has improved your life in a myriad of ways - I don't want that fact to influence you at all. I want you to be completely objective. Because I love you, and you love me, and I live for your approval.

Recently, Spike bought a sewing kit at Walmart. It is pictured above. It has needles and thread and scissors and a measuring tape and a few buttons, and ... a pompom.

A pompom?? Why on earth is a pompom in a sewing kit? This is the question that has been uppermost in our minds lately. I give you three theories.

First - Spike's theory. He believes that the pompom has been placed there for a "clown posse". I think that's quite plausible. Clowns have sewing needs, and who is out there catering to those needs? Walmart, that's who. Spike suggested that when the pompom falls off the back of a clown's ankle sock - and let's face it, pompoms never stay firmly attached to one's ankle socks - this little sewing kit saves the day. Who knows how many times a clown in distress has been rescued from certain disaster in the nick of time by this little fuzzy sphere?

Second - Kelso's theory. (We have a friend who at one time in his life had distinctly Kelso-like hair, and so we're trying out that nickname to see if it sticks.) Anyway, Kelso's theory is that the pompom is for storing needles, in case you are using this tiny little sewing kit for massive, multiple projects all at once, using different colours of thread. Rather than re-threading the needle each time, one just sticks the needle with pink thread into the pompom, so that one can use another needle with green thread. My objection to this theory is that the pompom is much smaller, fluffier, and softer than your standard pincushion. It would give a false sense of security, as the needles would simply fall out, or poke through to the other side, gleefully jabbing your thumb. Also, there is already a little needle holder in the kit, as you can clearly see.

At this point, you are realizing that you will never get back the 5 minutes you are using to read this post, so I will hasten to the end.

Third - my theory. It's obviously the most logical one. Walmart being the questionably evil multi-national corporate giant that they are, all of their products are exploitive of cheap labour markets, using poorly constructed materials. Their entire purpose is to make as much profit as possible. And so, in a bid to catch the eye of the consumer, they looked around the warehouse where the sewing kits were being assembled , and said, "Hey, a bin of leftover pompoms! Throw those in there - it'll make the kit look fuller and more colourful, and then we can charge more, while still calling it a rollback."

Some might think this is a ridiculously paranoid conspiracy theory. Well, my friends, stranger things have happened. Just ask Julia Roberts in The Pelican Brief. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there aren't conspiracies out there. And Walmart would be a prime suspect, since their main goal is obviously world domination.

So. That's the question. Consider how much you love me, and then cast your (purely objective) vote.

13 comments:

Joe said...

I give an answer of the fourth kind... After the wise owls at Wallmart cobbled this kit together with what they had left over they noticed that it looked only half full. Answer... that poofy pompom sitting on the top of it all... looks pretty full now don't it.

Patti said...

Oh, see Joe!!!!! That was part of my original thot too but I was mocked, so I left it out....

You and I are "like this" in our thought processes! :)

Anonymous said...

Just in case you've lost perspective in your photographic endeavours, you do realize don't you, that this 'little sewing kit' looks as tho' it would need a ship's container all its own to travel in???

That said, I, unfortunately, am going to be the rain on what I still hope is a lengthy parade of creative hypothetical uses for the overpriced pompom. So feel free to postpone reading this until all the highly entertaining writers have contributed here.

Because.

Think button.

As in spare button.

As in "Darn, I lost the button on my shirt right at my: (for women) cleavage; (for men) bellybutton - and I need one quick! Where's that blessed sewing kit??"

If one has ever worn a touque with a pompom, or, more likely, dealt with small tots' hats with pompoms, one would have had experience in how poorly Walmart's workers secures them to said items.

Hence, your lowly pompom is simply a spare, a replacement. Hasn't actually gone so far as a button bag, but definitely headed that way. A pompom pouch, if you will.

Truly mundane, I know. Sorry.

WWMN

Sheepdog said...

It's in the kit in case you lose your pompom of course.

Where was the kit made? It may be one of those things where there is a cultural difference and misunderstanding. Maybe it was made in a country in which the manufacturer thought that North Americans wear a lot of pompoms and may need a spare one.

Patti said...

... feeling disturbed that at this point, my theory is not winning ...

Larry said...

For a short period of time I worked in a factory making Walmart products.....One day as I was working, a yellow pom pom fell off of the front of my shirt where it had been fastened (don't ask WHY I had it attached to my shirt in the first place)....I could not find it anywhere!! Now, thanks to Spike and Patti, the mystery has been solved!! Thanks so much for clearing that up!! You can return the pom pom to: Larry Petro, 109.........

lol!

Anonymous said...

Its fir the cat 'cause cats need something to do when their owners are away. Not only can they use it to actually sew but its an enjoyable toy as well. Or, its just to inspire cheer leading.

Anonymous said...

Patti, this is great. It's Carey, and Brian just Googled, "What is the pompom in the sewing kit for?" Seriously. The result? This product: The ALEX "My First Sewing Kit" which sports the following description:
Everything you need to start sewing right away! My First Sewing Kit comes with cool pre-cut patterns for quick and easy projects, plus eight colors of embroidery floss, shapes to make felt animals and a notebook cover, stuffing, fabric, ric rac, needles, scissors, measuring tape, straight pins, thimble, pin cushion, buttons, and A POM-POM STRIP. Carrying case measures 10"W x 7"H x 3.25"D [Emphasis mine.]
It sells for $22.95 US, so I sincerely hope Spike's sewing kit was a lot cheaper than that. Otherwise, I seriously think he was ripped off!!!

Patti said...

Larry, you made me HOWL laughing!! Spike says we'll get that pompom in the mail to you right away.

Carey, oh my gosh, I can't believe you guys looked that up. Why don't I think of these things?? Yes, he definitely paid WAY LESS than that. A pompom strip. Good grief.

:D

Anonymous said...

It's clydes and all of the other butterflies bobbly warmers!

Patti said...

AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

No one else will know what that comment means, but I do!!!!!!!

:D

Kelly said...

PLEASE NOTE ... i voted before i read the blog ...

I'm with you ... Walmart is all about world domination. I would not be at all shocked if there is some sort of tracking device in that unassuming yellow pom-pom.

I'd soak it in water and toss in the freezer just to be sure!

Patti said...

Ah, Kelly, you and Christine went on vacation during this oh-so-important week! So I lost the poll. So I've extended it, and I thank you for voting, and maybe a few others want to add their vote, because the gloating on other *unnamed* parties is a bit much...
:)