"All words are symbols that represent unspeakable realities. Which is also why words are magical." (Donald Miller tweet)

Saturday, January 31, 2009

an order of empathy please, and hold the advice

I've been neglecting all of you recently. Hoping there is still someone out there that enjoys a running pastor's stream of consciousness ramblings.

Tuesday, I brought our multi-media laptop into my office. It is only 6 months old, and the CD/DVD drive had entirely died several weeks before. I finally had a window of time where I could take it back, and plead for speedy repair or replacement. ("Plead" because it was the only piece of equipment for which I could not find the receipt - ugh)

To ensure that I would not look like a complete idiot, I turned it on before taking it in, just to make sure that it still was not working. Popped in a CD - and was a little taken aback to hear it start playing. Took out the CD - slid in a DVD - it whirred happily, and started the movie. Turns out it works fine now. For how long, no one knows, but I'm not pleading anyone to repair a laptop that is working, especially when I don't have the receipt.

So I put it back. Plugged it in. Went back to my office.

Thursday, around 6 PM, I got a call from the youth group - "Where's the laptop?"

Silly, lovable youth. "It's right there, in front of you, where it always is."

"No, it isn't."

"Are you sure?"

I swear I could hear their eyes rolling over the phone - "Um, yes."

Sigh. So much for a quiet evening at home. A few minutes later, I arrived, apologetically checking the same place they had already checked. Turns out they're right - it's not there - and it's not anywhere. It has walked.


Called the police.

Questioned leaders.

Eventually came to the conclusion that it walked away under the watchful, protective gaze of ... me. During office hours.

Because, as you may remember from a Seinfeld episode that I cannot find on YouTube, all the security systems and state-of-the-art locks in the world, have only one flaw - YOU MUST LOCK THE DOOR!!!

I had a flashback to that same episode, as I filed a police report over the phone. The very kind, very friendly officer said to me, "Here's my email address - let me know if you have any more details - we'll let you know if something turns up."

I really, really wanted to say - "Does anything ever turn up?" Just to hear the instant, matter-of-fact - "Nah."

So - we've replaced it - I'm reloading it - and if all goes well, Sunday will go off without a hitch.

And I'm taking a tiny bit of comfort in the thought that the next time the wonky CD/DVD drive in that first laptop stops working - it's not my problem!


Anonymous said...

Proof once again that inanimate objects can grow legs and walk and perhaps even run.
I am pretty sure the God Head was present when it was taken. I can almost hear their conversation.
Father: "Hey son! Get a load of this person!"
Son: "Imagine that! Just walked right into our house and helped themselves."
HS: "Should I zap them dad? I so wanna spook them!"
Father: "Nay. They probably need it for something."
Son: "Like what? A presentation on crime fighting perhaps?"
HS: "Ur such a smart aleck sometimes?"
Son Laughing
Father: "I thought about convicting him, or slaying him in the spirit!"
HS: "Yeah! I like that one."
Father: "But lets follow him for a while and see what happens."

The thief walks out of the church. Runs down the street and promptly sells the laptop to another person in a nearby alley for $100 and leaves.

HS: "Oh Oh. Looks like he may need a fix."
Father: "Just wait now."

An hour later the thief stops at a store buys a few things and leaves.

Son: "How strange?"

The thief arrives at his run down apartment hands some cash to a woman with tired eyes and kisses her on the cheek. He takes some things out of the bag and starts cooking. He serves his girlfriend and their 2 year old daughter a meal. He says to his girlfriend, I know things have been tough. It will work out don't worry."

Right then there is a knock on the door. Two young adults smile as the thief opens the door. Hi we are from Crossfire Assembly and would like to give you this bag of groceries and a personal invitation to church and then they leave. The man closes the door and slumps on the floor and starts to weep. "God. I don't know if your real but this is more than a coincidence. I fel so bad but I am so worried." His girlfriend and daughter come to him and hug him. "Honey, maybe we should try going to that church." "Ok." Says the thief. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit hug him too.

Son: "You are awesome dad!"
HS: "Wow! You're the man! Ah, um I mean . . ."
Father: Laughs loudly! "I love my job!"

Patti said...

Wow - very creative parable!

Threat Assessment & Response Canada said...

"Should I zap them dad?"

hahaha! That's great!

Anonymous said...

I must say - I was getting a bit worried about you because you never go a whole week without a blog entry.
Sorry to hear about the laptop walking away, but I'm really glad to hear that YOU are ok.