Scanning the paper the other day, I saw this important tidbit of information:
"Are you troubled by bubbles in your ice cubes? There is a way to get rid of them."
Just let that echo in your head for a moment.
Have you ever met anyone anywhere who has been troubled by bubbles in their ice cubes? Is this a real problem? Am I the only one unaware of this bubble-trouble? Do people whisper behind their plastic cups at my dinner parties / wiener roasts?
"Someone should tell her. It's simply unacceptable. I mean, LOOK at these ice cube bubbles! It's a reflection, really, of her upbringing. Poor thing. She can't help it."
Well, if you truly are troubled by bubbles, here is the solution:
"Boil the water, pour it in the ice cube tray, let it cool completely, then freeze it. Solid ice."
Here is why I'm not going to do that.
"Boil the water" - my stove takes approximately 2 1/2 hours to boil water.
"Pour it in the ice cube tray" - which is flexible-bottomed, and useless, and smashed to pieces, soon after this post, here.
"Let it cool completely" - you want me to leave a full, uncovered tray of recently-boiling water just out there, peacefully cooling? Neither Spike nor I is at all capable of not tripping over our own feet, reaching out to grab something, and pulling the whole thing down onto our heads.
"Then freeze it" - it's hard to freeze water that has just spilled on your head.
"Solid ice" - this will be useful for treating the muscle strain and bruising received from tripping over our own feet, during the "let it cool completely" step.
And so, after thoughtful consideration, we have decided we like our bubble troubles. If this causes you to delicately gasp in horror, you may graciously decline attendance at our next dinner party.
