It's not that I wasn't awake.
I was.
I woke up at 5:44 AM today, at Millhouse's command. Went back to sleep, of course, but was up before 8 AM, opening windows to catch the morning breeze, sipping the first coffee of the day, checking to see if Anything Very Important happened in the world while I slept.
So it's not that I wasn't awake.
But I wasn't expecting a workman to arrive at 8:18 on a Saturday morning.
He graciously ignored my bedhead and hastily donned robe, and allowed the conversation to proceed as if I didn't have morning crust in my eyes.
"Oh, hello, are you guys working here today?"
"No, no, just have to take some quick measurements."
"Oh, I see. Come on in. Welcome to my home. What a lovely day, isn't it?"
"Yes, it certainly is."
What else is one to do in that situation? There's a lockbox on the door, so if I pretend I'm not here, he's coming in anyway. I don't think arm-waving shrieks would be helpful at that moment. And so I resort to my usual response - just get through the moment, knowing this is going to make a mildly amusing story later on.
"All right, so this is where the tile floor was?"
"Yes, yes it is. Watch your step on the stairs, there's a light switch at the bottom."
"Ok then, and here is where the carpet was? I have a sample of that carpet; it's being analyzed so we can determine the value."
"Yes, that's where it was. That's great, thank you."
I wander back upstairs. He's only staying a moment, so there's no point now in putting on make-up, or even washing my face. I do manage to run a brush through my hair before he emerges from the basement. I also make the bed - why? I don't know. He's not even in that part of the house.
"All right, I'm finished. Once the analysis is completed, I can bring you back some carpet samples so you can decide what you want to do down there."
"Oh, how lovely. Would we be able to put in flooring instead? ... allergies, you know ..."
"Certainly. There are many options available. Perhaps some vinyl flooring where the peel-and-stick tile was."
"Wonderful. Well, thank you so much. You have a great day now."
He leaves, calmly, graciously. He's almost certainly composing HIS version of this mildly amusing story.
And perhaps making a mental note to include a small bottle of mouthwash in the estimate.
