"All words are symbols that represent unspeakable realities. Which is also why words are magical." (Donald Miller tweet)

Friday, March 11, 2011

breakfast hardware

Thursday started uneventfully.  I got up early to do some school reading before work, coffee in one hand, yellow highlighter in the other.  I really thought I was making some progress too, until I realized that while my eyes were moving and my hand was highlighting, my brain was vegging under a tree somewhere.  Everything I read was being translated as, “maah, maah, maah….”  I sighed and started again.

An hour later, I put the kettle on to boil some water for my daily bowl of oatmeal.  Added cinnamon.  Added raisins.  Looked for peaches – none left.  Stirred my breakfast around and sat it on the desk in front of me to cool while I did some computer work.

I’m not sure when it happened.  Perhaps while answering some emails, or putting a Crossfire event on Facebook.  All I know is that as I absent-mindedly consumed my oatmeal, I suddenly became aware that there was something wrong with it.  It may have been the tooth-shattering CRUNCH.  Or the sudden pain on the inside of my cheek as something tore a strip into it.  I jumped and spit out the offending mouthful, figuring that somehow an almond shell or petrified raisin had snuck in there.
It was a tiny little screwnail.  In perfect condition.  In my breakfast.

(Yes, that IS my messy office. And your point is ... ??)

Don’t worry.  I saved it.  I’m not sure what to do with it.  
(Maybe Quaker Oats will give me a skid full of oatmeal for it.)

Regardless … if there are any moments in the next few weeks where I seem a little off … cut me some slack, OK?  Apparently I've got a few screws loose. 


Anonymous said...

Please update your blog on the status of this if Quaker responds. I'm curious. However, I do think I know what your problem is. You said you boiled water to make your oats. Are you eating INSTANT??? Take the time and enjoy REAL oats. Large flake oats with the 15 minutes of cooking time. You'll thank me. - Carey

Patti said...

Ah Carey, no, not Instant. Not flavoured. Not in little packets. I eat Quick Quaker Oats. They're just as real.

From the Quaker Oats website:

"Quaker® Old Fashioned Oats are whole oats that are rolled to flatten them. They contain all parts of the oat grain including the bran, endosperm and germ portion. Quick Quaker® Oats are made the same way but are simply cut into slightly smaller pieces so they cook faster."


Anonymous said...

Yikes! Sounds like potential dental bill - sure hope not! But you may want to keep the evidence, just in case.

But quik tip for Carey, which I learned recently in my shiny new "Eat Clean" book (no commercial intended): one does not need to cook real, large flake oats for the traditional 15 min. with resultant nasty pot. One can simply put oats in cereal bowl, add twice the amt of boiling, even very hot, water (think microwave), slide bread & butter plate over it, and let it sit for 10 min. Go shower! Voila!

Eat also a (previously hardboiled) egg, and you've had your complexcarb/protein breakfast!

Of course raisins, cranberries, cinnamon, ground flax seed, whatever, make the oatmeal mucho better...

Guinwalla said...

Oh my goodness! I say, "SUE THEM!" Haha! I'm just kidding, but that's just wrong! Glad your teeth havn't shattered!

Patti said...

Sent in an online "there's a screwnail in my oatmeal".

Here's what I wrote (after filling in many blanks on a form)

"I don't know what/where the Manufacturing Code is. I entered the number stamped on top of the bag with the "best before" date. Not sure exactly when I bought it, but it was recent, at one of the two grocery stores I frequent. I buy this product repeatedly.

There was a screwnail in my oatmeal. That's more fibre than I want.

Pictures and story on my blog. Other pictures on there are random graphics, but the two pictures of the screwnail are real.

Go to this web address for details. http://runningpastor.blogspot.com/2011/03/breakfast-hardware.html

Thanks - I look forward to hearing from you."

They look forward to responding. At least that's what their website says. I'll let you know. ;)

Derbecker said...

You might want to add the skew number under the barcode as well, that might be the manufacturing code they're talking about since each batch will have a different skew.

Patti said...

Actually, I had to fill that number in earlier on the same form.

So I was kind of at a loss for the "Manufacturing Code". Ah well. I'm not expecting millions of dollars or anything.

joe said...

I had some real crunchy potato chips from the bulk barn one day. Quite hard but I liked the taste as I munched away while driving my car home. Some really tough bits though.

The tongue is a marvelous member, I was able to separate the hard crunchy from the hard tasty. I swallowed the tasty and spit out the crunchy... Just the remains of a tooth. I should of had oatmeal!