"All words are symbols that represent unspeakable realities. Which is also why words are magical." (Donald Miller tweet)

Monday, October 20, 2014

*medical terms may not be accurate

Remember this moment of dignity and grace in my life? The colossal wipe-out, blew the knee out of my pants, twisted my ankle, on university campus, yada, yada, yada?

I iced my right ankle that night, elevated it. Wore a tensor wrap for a couple of days and it started to feel better, so I stopped.

And then, it wasn't feeling better anymore. And then shots of pain above my left knee signified that my right ankle was making me walk all twisty-like. And then little electric currents of warning through my neck suggested that I was about to move into that rare-but-never-forgotten moment of searing pain if you so much as turn your head a fraction of an inch.

So I went to my chiropractor last Thursday and showed him my owie. "Yes," he said calmly. "It's your tirbyelaratis* bone." He looked at me as if it was obvious. "It has to be always moving forward. Yours is flat."

"Because I wiped out?"

"Yes. You fell in this direction, didn't you?" He gestured. "So it's not ... it should be ...."

He sighed at my obvious oblivion as he pushed and pulled and moved it around. "Ok, you have your briatic* joint here on this side, and your crylondiar* joint on the other side. The tirbyelaratis* runs between them, and yours is ... well it has to be moving forward."

He worked some more, then looked to see if I understood.

I asked, "And it's not? Moving forward?"

"No," he said, and gave a mighty pull. I gasped slightly.

"Is it now? Moving forward?" I asked.

"Yup," he said.

"Is that why my knee and neck were freaking out last night too?" I asked.

"Of course," he said. "You'll be fine by the weekend. Oh! And I have a couple of jigsaw puzzles for you. Last time you were here, you said you like jigsaw puzzles but only if the scenes are interesting. These ones are interesting. They're  ... well ... they're definitely interesting. I left them at home, but I'll bring them in and you can have them."

And once again, this is why I love my chiropractor.

*medical terms may not be accurate, and in fact are entirely made up, since I have no idea what he said.

1 comment:

M.Christine Duncan said...

I HATE when those what-cha-ma-callits don't move forward towards the doo-flickie-ma-bobs... that's the worst.

Seriously glad you're okay though.
No more wipeouts.