Three things have converged in my mind today.
One - I was reading a book last night that I have greatly enjoyed. This one is the end of a trilogy that I think is nothing short of brilliant, even if I don't come to all of the same conclusions as the author. In this third book, part of the story is about a pastor being destroyed, emotionally, in his career, extending to his family - because he has sincere, heart-wrenching, faith questions. The one initiating the destroying feels that questions are not acceptable; only answers are.
And I cried a little bit, reading the story, because although it is fiction, it is still real. I know people who have lived various versions of this "fictional" story.
I thought to myself - "We get so angry. SO ANGRY when another person dares to question their own beliefs, or worse, ours. We aren't kind. We get so mean."
Not all of us, I know. But it's not rare, in my experience. Our first reaction is to defend, to attack, to explain, to answer, to prove, to declare. Compassion and kindness and empathy get way down the list, sometimes. Ugh.
Two - On the radio this morning was reference to this story. An Apology Bill being introduced in the Ontario Legislature. Meaning that people can apologize like a real human being, without being automatically liable and open to lawsuit.
I know there are a million technical and legal reasons why this is crazy. But as a member of the fallible, relational, human race ... I'm all for the principle behind this. The right to say, "I'm so sorry" or even "I made a mistake" or "I'm not perfect" without having it thrown back in one's face in a court proceeding. Not that people shouldn't face consequences. But we're afraid to apologize ever, in the worst of situations, because later it will be used against us.
So I'm going to write my MP and say so.
Three - In considering different responses people will have to this Apology Bill, it occurred to me that this book would help to explain the different responses. I haven't read it yet, but I've heard about it from several very different sources, all saying it is an excellent book. And somehow, for me today, apology bills and apology languages tie in to the beginning of my post.
Some days, I guess I would very much like to do away with all the rules, and the politics, and the rights, and the fights, and start all over again, as ... people.
Imagine that.
