I wrote a song. You might want to get "Bad to the Bone" or some similar blues tune in your head - that way you can sing along.
Woke up this mornin'
Body in pain
That's what I get
For bein' insane
I thought I was young
In shape and fit
Now I see clearly
I'm such a delusional twit
Oh I'm wailin' and achin' and limpin' and sore
I got those I'm-not-20-anymore blues
In my garden all spring
Man-handlin' dirt
Never stretched or slowed down
Thought I couldn't get hurt
Then Spike broke his wrist
He can't do anything
So I gotta cook, clean and iron**
All I can do is sing
Oh I'm wailin' and achin' and limpin' and sore
I got those I'm-not-20-anymore blues
Worst of it happened
On Saturday morn
Had a work bee to get to
And Spike was all snor'n
Didn't want to wake him
But he needed the car
So I dug out my ol' roller-blades
Figured it weren't too far
Strapped on the blades and gear
Wobbled down the drive
"Just gotta find my legs"
I was feelin' alive
But it was hot and muggy
And plenty of hills
By the time I arrived at the church
I was just about heavin' swill
Oh I'm wailin' and achin' and limpin' and sore
I got those I'm-not-20-anymore blues
Sunday was long
As Sundays always are
But not overwhelming
This time I had the car
Went to bed feelin' fine
"I'll get back in my groove"
Woke up this morning, and guess what?
I can't stinkin' move!
Oh I'm wailin' and achin' and limpin' and sore
I got those I'm-not-20-anymore blues
I got those I'm-not-20-anymore blues
Can't turn my head
My hip's in a weird curve
Foot rolls to the inside
When I walk - I swerve
Called up my chiro
Told him my sad tale
I'll be there in two hours
My chiro never fails
He'll shake his head and groan
"Patti, what did you do?"
My answer - "I'm just a stubborn nincompoop
Now I got these stiff-necked blues"
Oh I'm wailin' and achin' and limpin' and sore
I got those I'm-not-20-anymore blues
I got those I'm-not-20-anymore blues
Yes I'm takin' some Advil, then takin' some more
I got those old-and-rusty blues!
**Disclaimer: Some creative license was used in the phrase "cook, clean and iron". Not to be taken literally.
