Just before Christmas, you may recall, our door was kicked in.
Somewhere in between then and now, our insurance rep was sucked into a vortex of some kind, which prevented him from returning our calls. He hasn't been heard from since. Meanwhile we got a new insurance rep.
And today - just before Easter, the door has been replaced.
I'm pretty sure there's no spiritual or religious significance.
So, if you are a door-kicking type, looking for quick and easy valuables, here's what you need to know.
#1 We don't have valuables. The door was the biggest cost. We didn't ask insurance to wash the big muddy footprint off of the duvet cover.
#2 The new door has a multi-point locking system, a killer deadbolt, and many extra-long screws holding it in place. There's also a motion-activated taser and a big, nasty, frothing dog on the other side, just in case. And an evil clown troupe, just waiting for a reason to encircle you. So if I come home again and have to call 9-1-1, it's not going to be because the door is lying on the ground. It's going to be because you are.
Consider yourself warned.