"All words are symbols that represent unspeakable realities. Which is also why words are magical." (Donald Miller tweet)

Monday, March 30, 2015

patti's public service announcement

Just before Christmas, you may recall, our door was kicked in.

Somewhere in between then and now, our insurance rep was sucked into a vortex of some kind, which prevented him from returning our calls. He hasn't been heard from since. Meanwhile we got a new insurance rep.

And today - just before Easter, the door has been replaced.

I'm pretty sure there's no spiritual or religious significance.


So, if you are a door-kicking type, looking for quick and easy valuables, here's what you need to know.

#1 We don't have valuables. The door was the biggest cost. We didn't ask insurance to wash the big muddy footprint off of the duvet cover.

#2 The new door has a multi-point locking system, a killer deadbolt, and many extra-long screws holding it in place. There's also a motion-activated taser and a big, nasty, frothing dog on the other side, just in case. And an evil clown troupe, just waiting for a reason to encircle you. So if I come home again and have to call 9-1-1, it's not going to be because the door is lying on the ground. It's going to be because you are.

Consider yourself warned.

No comments: